265. ‘Tony Blair is a liar’- is something you hear and wonder why anyone would waste their breath saying it out loud…

It’s one of those ridiculous side-spats to everything else that is going on in the world – including the cynical slaughter in Syria while the West – distracted by the Brexit disaster and the Trump abomination – fiddle halfheartedly with how to stop Putin-backed Assad.

Michael Wolff, american author of Fire and Fury, accused Blair of lying when call-me-Tony denied sucking up to the Trump’s son in law for the Middle East Peace Envoy job. (Yes – I’ll pause while you pick yourself up off the floor. T’is the same Blair that obliterated Iraq and destabilised – THE MIDDLE EAST).

OK - Wolff did take the trouble to put pages between covers to tell us what a disaster Trump’s first year in office has been, so he clearly likes to be paid to state the obvious. A lot of people could have saved a lot of money. They need not have bought the book to know that having a misogynistic, narcissistic, lazy, semi-literate moron as president– would be/is a disaster just as I did not need the radio to tell me it was snowing this morning. I could just look out of the window…

Nor did anyone need to be told that Blair is a liar or – as Wolff helpfully put it “a complete liar”.

In many ways whether Wolff or Blair is lying about this minor detail is a moot point. We know Blair wanted that job. We know that he was willing in 2003 to unleash Armageddon in order to suck up to G.W.Bush. 

Hearing that Blair sucked up to the entourage of the next Republican president is about as surprising as finding I have toes at the ends of my feet.

It’s as surprising as  hearing that Boris Johnson – our clown foreign secretary – has made another racist comment.

It is as surprising as learning that Jeremy Corbyn is still trying to spark another general election because he thinks a Labour PM who has no coherent position on Brexit would be better for Britain than a Tory MP who has no sane position on Brexit.

It’s not news.

From time to time Blair and various of the mainstream media outlets – always the BBC – try to rehabilitate the man who talks as if his testicles were stapled to the back of his throat when  he was 13 and he is quite happy with the situation (a lot of men of his ilk in British public life sound like this!!!) They interview or otherwise give him a platform to deliver his latest sermon. It is as if they and he think that EVERYONE is anaesthetised by soap operas, reality tv, cooking/gardening/house improvement programmes, facebook etc etc etc. Surely they must realise by now – as he pops up to pronounce on the Middle East or Brexit via his global ego-corp or vicariously through his old cohorts – that someone somewhere has a memory. Someone is going to pipe up and remind folk that he illegally started the war in Iraq and is responsible for endless misery and innumerable deaths. He achieved this by lying to the British people and ignoring the largest most diverse mass anti-war demonstration this country has ever seen.

If you want to surprise me – tell me that the self-obsessed maniacs of the world have put their hideous grasping and grabbing and positioning on hold to try to help the children of Syria.

*

Do check out My BOOKS

264. Brexit – Where are we now?

The moronic, xenophobic, destructive, entitled, delusional neighbours from hell, about sums it up.

If listening to Theresa May’s latest call to the EU for co-operation fried my mind with the crazy contradiction then David Davis’s assertion that Brexit would not lead to a ‘Mad Max-style dystopia’ almost caused me to lose my moorings.

Each time matron May or dim Davis or gargoyle Gove or bonkers/racist Boris or rancid Rees-Mogg open their mouths, it seems this is as mad as it can get – but it never ever is.

In May’s ‘Road to Brexit’ speech in Germany she calls for special cooperation on security and says

“The challenge for all of us today is finding the way to work together, through a deep and special partnership between the UK and the EU”

The call for this co-operation sounds plausible and genuine and serious and statesman-like and all the other rabid illusions we’re now used to. However, in order to listen to this without going insane you have to blank your mind to the fact that we HAD a special partnership and the UK unilaterally crapped on it … 

The road-to-Brexit this government is on involves sitting in a car powered by paranoid delusions and falsehoods.  We are steered by double-speak into a narcoleptic state usually only seen in those at the mercy of synthetic cannabinoids.

But as the last few strands of sanity hang by a thread, a horrible image manifests. On the positive, it reassures me I’m not mad – at least not as mad as the Tory front bench or our so-called opposition (any time Jeremy Corbyn wants to announce the Labour Party’s actual position on Brexit we are all waiting…)

The EU is like a neighbourhood that pulled itself up by the bootstraps after a long and hideous history. This history included wars and slaughter and poverty and various monarchs and other ‘leaders’ waging war – usually at the extreme expense of the lower orders. There was all the usual stuff to contend with – plagues, famine and pestilence and general not-good stuff. Then after two attempts at annihilation 1914 - 18 and again in 1939-45 with a little help from Nature (flu epidemics etc.) oh – and a bit of genocide – the neighbours finally decided they’d had enough. They’d rather have good lives for future generations. They set up a sort of neighbourhood watch; not the sort where you just put a sticker on the window and peep out occasionally when a car alarm goes off – but a proper one to do with co-operation - a ‘deep and special partnership’ you might say.

The neighbourhood started to look up. There was co-operation. Houses improved. No fights in the neighbourhood. New people moved in and things changed but basically it was ok. Yes there were the whingers and whiners who thought they could have a better front door or a bigger garden or if things reverted to the way they never had been in their 1950s fantasies but on the whole they were told to shut the fuck up and be grateful things were a lot better than they had been.

THEN

A privately educated racist called Farage with a pint in his hand and help from some other posh schoolboys who think politics is a game you play in the 6th form common room and a non-existent opposition - conspired to persuaded the family of whingers and whiners that they would be happier if there were no rules about straight bananas. That family decided to trash their house – wreck it – dig up the garden – smash the windows including the parts that belonged to a family who did not want the house trashed and a couple of adjoining properties. They are the neighbours from hell and they wrecked things for the whole neighbourhood.

AND NOW?

Now they are going round each of their neighbours asking for help to put their house back together – they don’t really know how or why and don’t have a plan for rebuilding or any idea what their repaired property should look like and they are trying to make out its everyone else’s job to work all that out - their argument runs thus -

You have to help us and be nice to us and let us have ALL the benefits we had before we trashed our house and caused upset in the neighbourhood because otherwise the neighbourhood will just be crap with this big eyesore right here…

And that’s where we are right now.

*

Do check out my books page on this blog

https://plus.google.com/collection/UNSKRE

and my cartoon page

https://plus.google.com/collection/E8toME

263. I promise I won’t sit in the wasteland screaming I TOLD YOU SO...

… but as time cycles spin faster and a fashion trend of three years ago is already hailed as ‘retro’ and stock markets are more jittery than a crack addict who just got stopped for having no lights and the boys with money are happy to spend it on toys that cost the GDP of a medium size country and the addled, narcissists and mediocre become 'leaders' and the masses are scared of their own shadows and believe any twaddle that is repeated often or loudly enough and our children breathe diesel while we cut down trees like there is no tommorrow thus ensuring that there won't be  - we do need to re-calculate our doomsday scenarios.

Which – by the way – will look something like this…

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1539762602

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1539762602

262. BREXIT – the nuclear option could soon be delivered by a brexit dream team (The ‘D’ Team!) say an hysterical media…

Yes – Brexit bonkers, brain-frozen, barmy as a box of frogs, batty, Britain-breaking, loony tunes, la la land loopy is now looking likelier than ever and the circus of clowns is in town ready in the wings to bring the house down (pun intended).

Theresa May has maxed out trying to hold the fantasy ground where the xenophobes can have everything they want but Britain can still benefit from the EU economically. It was becoming an unbearable exercise in delusion and double talk with only the weak and weird able to mumble through any of the gobbledygook without going insane; dim and dull as dishwater David Davis or the craven Liam Fox.

Now – the mainstream media tell us – we are a cliff edge away from what they are referring to as The Brexit Dream Team. I’ll translate that for you – triple shit on a stick x 1,000,000.

The ‘D’ team would, we are told, be led by Boris Johnson, our racist  Obama-insulting Foreign Secretary who gave us the lie about – well pretty much everything during the EU referendum - but mainly the £340million per week to the NHS oh and corruptly wasted millions of pounds on the never built Garden Bridge when he was mayor of London etc, etc. 

His deputy would be Michael Gove – the man who also spouted lies because he thought the British people wouldn’t be mad enough to vote to leave but it would make him popular – oh and derided experts through the whole process and is now our Secretary for the Environment – Yay. 

Jacob Rees-Mogg would be chancellor. J.Re;Smogg is the man who thinks philanthropy should be left to toffs like him if they happen to have a few spare guineas left over once they’ve paid for private school for their half a dozen or so offspring and who is vehemently anti-abortion even though he financially benefits from a drug used to induce abortions.

That’s it. That is what top-shelf Britain has to offer to sort the Brexit mess...

And part of me is sinking slowly into the quagmire of – BRING IT ON. LET IT HAPPEN. Because since June23rd 2016 it’s been like sitting in the dentist’s pre-op room waiting to have all our (not in particularly bad condition) teeth pulled out and replaced with rusty paper clips.

A madman offered the procedure. Some folk in the waiting-room volunteered for the procedure and about half did not. And even the half that voted for it have sort of changed their minds now they can hear the badly-wired, wobbly old drill being tested and the nurse has announced that they've run out of anaesthetics (or the anaesthetists have all gone back to their EU homes). But it’s going to happen.

The mad discordant headache-inducing jingle of jingoism and xenophobia is whining over a speaker and – even though it’s going to be horrible for me – who didn’t vote for it and horrible for those who did but came to their senses – it still might be worth it to hear the tiny rabid minority who have the rest of us by the throat, up a tree, over a barrel, up a creek without a paddle, over a cliff - scream…

Or could we just wake up from the nightmare?

*

OH – and as regards last week’s post – in view of the financial reports last night - maybe change my “within 24 months” prediction to ‘within 24 days…’

*

Anyhow - either through this link or any good online book store - do remember to check out My BOOKS Thanks