I am left still trying to comprehend (among other things) the
appeal of UKIP – or should I say Farage. Yes he’s been shamelessly promoted and
normalised by the media but over and above that, what is his draw? He’s a
frog-faced racist hypocrite who seems to have galvanised the previously limp passions
of (some) white men over 60 – like political Viagra. And who’d argue he
wouldn’t look better with a condom over his head?
According to various opinion polls and commentators and worried
Tory insiders, he appeals to those who feel their country is not what it was;
those who crave the ‘better yesterday’. Presumably they want a yesterday when
everyone was white and spoke perfect English which was – NEVER. There was no
such thing as Standard English until well after Chaucer’s time and today most so-called
indigenous people don’t speak it. The Royal Family are a Continental European
import and blacks and Europeans have been resident on this island since Roman
times. The fictional better yesterday seems to be some mythical time in the
60s, 70s or early 80s.
So I thought – couldn’t we put all the folk who want it to
be yesterday together? They could go
live on an island with Max Clifford. Maybe we could get some posters saying ‘no
blacks, no Irish, no dogs’ to make them feel at home? The men could have
compulsory comb-overs and the women would be forced to wear pale blue eye
shadow.
On this island the only T.V. will be back episodes of
Crossroads and Top of the Pops with Jimmy Saville. The food will consist of
sandwiches made from packet Mother’s Pride bread filled with smash
and condensed milk sprinkled with powdered coffee.
I do get why the main parties are such a turn-off. The
Tories are shits. The Liberals justify their existence by claiming to be
keeping the Tories from being as shit as they would otherwise be and Labour are
whining from the sidelines that they will be a bit less shit than the others if
we let them have a go (see spoof leaflet with this week’s cartoon).
Just last week the Tories proved yet again their disdain and
utter contempt for the British public by approving the proposed take-over of
Astra Zeneca by Pfizer (talking of Viagra). Apparently on the basis that P has
given assurances they won’t decimate
the AZ UK workforce. And we all know how reliable those kinds of business
assurances are from the Royal Mail debacle.
The Liberals haven’t worked out that Clegg is as electable
as chilled dog vomit.
Labour doesn’t get that;
Ed is unelectable
Blair is not completely exorcised
You can’t just keep saying you will manage the mess; you
have to prove you’ll clear it up.
If the Tories want to out-UKIP UKIP they could pass a law
stating that homosexuality is re-outlawed, we all have to paint our rooms brown
and orange and all women must be trained as typists and not complain if their
bosses grope them. And we could all go to hell in a handcart singing Rule Britannia.
Or...
... young people could wake up, smell the coffee, get
themselves registered to vote and introduce euthanasia for racist, homophobic,
misogynistic hypocrites.
Click on the orange Amanda Baker - top of the right hand
column to view this week’s cross-cartoon
This week’s recommended blog from the archives is,
Blog 35 Eton Mess –
pudding or state of the nation.